This is a very controversial topic . if we were to conduct a research on what women want in a relationship, we would have different opinions because we all want or need different things . some would say money , qualities , while other would go for physical appearance like pink lips , muscular body etc .
In the early days ,before civilization it is evidential that women’s only road to freedom and having a better life is to be married . our mothers got married to escape wicked relatives who tortured them while serving as their parents .
They also got married as an escape from poverty. It was prideful when they would return back home to see their parents and their friends who would call them wives of a big man. The man was everything to the girl’s family ,he was the provider .
Men could marry more than one wives without their wife’s being able to contradict them . the women they didn’t have a say in their marriages and whatever the men say was final
” A man is always right ” , this was their mother’s advise to them . To always be submissive to their husbands , to listen and not talk, to not be angry or shout at him but to be silent .
They grew up with that mentality even raise their female child in that same mentality . they give all the power to the male child leaving him to do what he wants .
They don’t let the male child do house chores, cook or wash clothes , they call it a woman’s job . The female child grow up thinking in that manner, that she was born and her job is in the kitchen and she is meant to be submissive to her husband without challenging their decisions but accepting all they do .
Thanks to education that came to Africa , esp Nigeria some women were able to receive education and got their freedom from ignorance.
Education was a problem for women at that time , parents refused to take their female child to school because they felt they were of no use . some were even angry when their wives bare girls instead of boys , some women were neglected because they didn’t give birth to a male child. Ignorance is really a disease.
This is the 21st century and the rate at which women acquire education is increasing . education is not a thing of sex but it is for everyone who cares to know .
Now women have learnt and they know their rights , they know the truth and they see that their lives are not meant to be in the kitchen but to be in the world breaking grounds .
But then came pressure, after bagging a certificate , the women were pressured by their families and society into marriage. Some were unable to withstand the pressure from their family and they end up getting married without even achieving anything or becoming financially independent.
Pressure also came from their spouse which threatened their passion . High careered women were told to quit their jobs and take care of the kids .
if lucky enough the man would open up a shop for them. Those who were able to stand their ground got the right man that was able to understand them or they were divorced.
Society is full of pressure asking a woman when she wants to get married instead of asking if she has gone to school, secured a job or has become financially independent.
Kids are no longer taught to have a life , they are told or lied to that their happiness depends on the man they are married to. They are told that they need a man to complete them .
If a woman goes to any organization the first question she is asked Are you married . like marriage is a criteria to secure a job , to be a complete woman or to be right or wrong.
Someone said to me I rather listen to a married woman on any issue than listen to a single woman or a divorced woman . like all ain’t women with experience and stories .
Being married is not an achievement neither is it a criteria to be right. It doesn’t matter if you are married or not , you will still fail , cry , hurt, laugh , rise , succeed , grow .you will still go through all this because that’s what makes us humans .
Married women are not the happiest women on earth neither is a single woman. If you choose to be happy then you will be happy .so create the life you want .
women always suffer in marriages because the men saw themselves as lord and king over their wives . Because God said they are the head they have seen it as the overall position and no one can tell them anything .
They have seen themselves as God over their wives when it ought not to be so . there is always a captain of a ship and there are people who he listens to and seek advise from . there are people who take over from the captain also . that is your wife .
sometimes your decision does not stand alone . let your wife or girlfriend guide and plan for you . we women know how to plan a lot esp me 😁.
The problem of most home is the man . the reason why a man is not moving forward is because he doesn’t listen to his wife . the reason why he rise and fall is because he has failed to let his wife plan for him .
my mother would always help my father plan but at the end of the day he does whatever he wants and we all end of suffering the consequences for his action.
What happened to listening to your wife , men need to understand the fact that we know what we are doing so they shouldn’t feel they know it all.
Women go through all forms of abuse , emotional , physical , verbal abuse from their over controlling husband . The men who saw them as maids and their duty is to bore kids and take care of the home and satisfy their sexual urge .
Sometimes if they fail to do what they are told to do or if they don’t have sex with their husband when they want , they would be blacked eyed.
You usually hear words like did I not pay your bride price , I cloth you , I feed you , so you must do what I say .
Are we not tired of hearing this stories everyday . are we not tired of seeing women being abused and they can’t leave because they don’t want to be mocked . are we not tired of women giving up their dreams for their husband . the question is how do we put an end to this ?
How do we stop patriarchy.
Watch out for my next post by Wednesday . I post on my blog three times a week . my next post would be on Wednesday . follow my social media to interact with me .
Education is the key ,let’s put and end to ignorance and patriarchy by educating women so they won’t suffer in their marriages .