Societal issues

When should you get married ?

Each day as I move across the surface of the earth , I see married people. On my social media platform especially Facebook , I see young ones ,some I know others I don’t, get married .

congratulations fill the air bursting my screen guard , I even join in congratulating ย them but one question that springs up in mind “why did they get married ” .

When should you get married

I’m not a enemy of progress oh ๐Ÿ’† I like the fact that they are married , its a good thing but just why?. Nowadays so many girls get married because they are tired of being single and they think marriage will solve their problem .

As enlightened as our world is people still get married because they want to bear the name married woman .when you call them married woman their head opens up and a garden of flower springs up ,they are so happy and they go ” yes oh ! God bless my hubby ” . OK oh sister well done.

Some men marry because they need someone to Cook and clean , bros you need a house help not a wife . Some marry because it’s a competition among their circle , first to get married. Some because its genuine but how can I tell , am I them? no ! So let me mind my business abeg .

I was at the corridor teaching a child when I heard shouts coming from the next compound . The tone was loud and ย filled with frustration and anger. It was so loud that everyone could hear and you could easily detect that the woman was fed up .

” why am I even married to you , what have you done for me since you married me. I’m the only one that takes care of myself in this house , is it not better to stay in my mother’s house than be married to you “

Those words stroked me so hard and I asked again , why are you married ?

Divorce is a leading case in the world , the rate at which people buy asoebi and go for marriages every Saturday is the same rate at which people divorce everyday .

Mhen I’m tired of this marriage thing . God please give me husband that have sense and fears you oh because I can’t be like all this women ๐Ÿ™

Now back to my topic

why did you get married

When I see all this issues in marriages , am totally confused and 50% of this problems are caused by the men. Here in Africa some men still have this ignorant mentality that a woman is supposed to stay at home ,to be submissive and take care of the kids and do the domestic chores .

Now we have so many people fighting for equality without the understanding that we are already equal . They call themselves feminist. I’m not against them oh but what I believe is that feminism did not bring equality , God created us equal so I see no reason why I should be a feminist and fight for a course I already have .

Well if you don’t have Christ or know God then you won’t know you were created equal and then you go fighting for equality .

This is why you should know the kind of man you should marry . Not all men will accept the fact that God created us equal , so why should I even be involved with them . Not everyone has accepted Christ is it now equality they want to accept.

If you don’t know Jesus how will you know that you are complete in him and you don’t need another person to complete you .When you hear this men talk , what they use in proving point is a passage of the bible where it says women should be submissive to their husbands . This has made so many feminist angry and they have concluded that God wasn’t fair to them ,not only do they attack the men but also the bible .

Its sad that so many people do not understand the term submission . The bible was not written for man to use dictionary meaning to explain it , the bible explains itself . when it talked about submission it doesn’t refer to bowing down .

Jesus was submitted to his parents , the Bible commanded us to be submitted under government authorities , submission does not mean crawl on your feet and bow down or accept evil .

Let’s look at our bible

Ephesians 5: 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it

Let’s talk about the term “submission

Anything that has two head is a monster , in the family as designed by God , the man is the head of the family. This means he is the leader . The bible went further saying as Christ is the head of the church . The leader of the church is Jesus and the leader of the woman is her husband. There can’t be two captain in a ship ,one has the be the captain and others have their roles to perform but everyone is important.

This means the woman has to see Christ in her husband and the man has to have Christ to be able to lead the woman . You cannot love a person when you don’t have God. Love is God , when you say you love someone it means you God the person. You show love the way God has instructed you to love .

A person who does not know God cannot love you the right way. Christ loved the church which is his body that is why he died for us so husband’s are instructed to love their wives as Christ loves us .If I love you would I hurt you or cheat on you. Paul said we should get married so we do not fornicate , didn’t he know that fornication or adultery is a sin , that’s the reason he said find a wife . so why do men still cheat on their wives , its simple they don’t have the fear of God . To solve this issue is not to endorse women to cheat back but to teach people to fear God.

Marriage is a service unto God , anything that will take you out of that service or make you do against God’s will then know that is not God’s desire for marriage and you have gone against the rule .

Some women will say so I’m the neck or what? OK let’s imagine you are the neck , the bible never said so but let’s just assume men are the head and women are neck . Once the neck is cut off do you think the head can still stand. Head does not refer to our physical head ,it is a place of leadership in the home . its a place of authority and the woman is under that authority.

Every part of the body is important, men being the leader doesn’t mean the people under him are useless or they don’t have a say . Christ is not an authoritative leader, he does not force you against your will . This is the example Christ left for us to follow.

I really want to explain this to a lot of people because there are lot of misconception on this subject . Now people are fighting for the wrong course and they feel God was partial to women and that has really angered so many women.

Some questions that arise on this issue is ” so why did the bible say we are weaker vessel ”
When the bible said women are weaker vessel it didn’t mean they are weak and can’t do what a man is doing . it means that they are precious ornaments that needs to be treated with care and love . women are emotional by nature, most of our decisions has to be pleasing to us , our hearts has to access it first but men are logical and less emotional.

This is why I don’t support a woman that chase after men ,its misplaced priority. women were sent to help men, Adam saw eve not eve seeing Adam . when he saw her he knew that was the bone of his bone.
Girls that goes after guys lack understanding , because the guy sees you as cheap and since you came after him he can use you and those guys who play along, after using you they dump you.

I see lots of Instagram post and a girl was complaining of guys she has asked out and his response was sex . my sister who send you ? Men are hunters they go after girls and not the other way round . if ย you set your heart right the right kind of man would come to you .

Consider this first before marriage

Before marriage a woman must know the kind of man she would get married to . Most people are married just because of the party. They just want the ceremony,the white gown, its just a moment in time after that then comes the real deal .

Why should you get married

Responsibility : If you are not responsible for yourself as a man or a woman you don’t have a business with being responsible for someone else . You have to be financially independent, emotionally, mentally. Marriage is work oh , its not for babies , you have to grow up and take responsibility for yourself before you can be able to take responsibilities for others

Purpose : If you have not found God’s purpose for your life , please go and discover your life before you get caught in the web of marriage that you can’t come out from .Some discover themselves in relationships and it ends up being a disaster because their eyes are now open and they don’t see the kind of man they want in their partner how do you then cope, well I was like that . Discover who you are and know who you are .

Happiness: If you are not satisfied with yourself or happy with life please don’t get married cause you can’t tie your happiness to another person . Marriage is not supposed to make you Happy, you should be happy with yourself then when you come together you add to your happiness . Not that you are a sadist and you want to marry a happy man so that he can make you happy, please go and look for your joy .

Readiness: Most important of all , marry when you are ready . Don’t let anyone pressure you into marriage. I’m just chilling with my God while I sip coffee and write and do what he wants me to do. If the thing never reach nor rush am , be ready first .

As for me and marriage , let it wait .. The right kind of man will come. This life I can’t kill myself oh . you know that song abi ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ’ƒ

Marriage nor be competition, if you run into it as e dy ย hot, the fire go burn you come outside. So develop yourself and know the kind of person that fits you and above all be the kind of person you want .

Please share your thoughts , I want to know what you think ? I also stand to be corrected

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Warm greetings to you! I'm Blessing Bossman by name and I'm glad to have you here. This is a positivity blog that aims at helping people achieve their life and career goals. It will give me joy to see that you succeed in life as I do too. This is why I create meaningful, longlasting content that will solve your problems and give answers to your dilemma. To know more about me visit my about page. Connect with me on Instagram @ d_analyzt Twitter @ d_analyzt and facebook @ blessing bossman


  • Macdonald Akhirome

    Well, what more can one say, when in all honesty, the writer has translated the essence of marriage, into very practical and elementary considerations that surely stand the test of time.

    I read sometime in someone’s blog that its the same word that was used in describing the holy spirit as our “helper”, that was also used in describing the woman as a “help mate”!!!

    The strength of a woman ought ordinarily to be seen in the light of the subtle yet spiritual strength that she brings to humanity. What we however have today, is a complete derogation!!! Womanhood have become a true reflection of lost manhood, where the lust of the eyes have taken over the function of the mind to truly visualise (see) God’s purpose for humanity.

    May God help us!

    • D_analyzt

      Thank you so much Sir for your comment . blessing appreciates and you have given me an insight to the topic of the holy ghost and women .

      Now I’m pondering on it and it makes sense a lot , if only our women can understand their true nature and the world Christ has called them into and men able to recognise this place they are called into the world would be a better place .

      This is why we are witness and we won’t let darkness take over our world , we would educate people so they can come into this knowledge .

      Thank you once more

  • Ibukun

    Smiles. Don’t get tired of this marriage thing jare. It’s honorable and lovely when it involves two responsibile individuals with the right perspective. – that’s how God structured it. As always, it’s possible to make a shipwreck of the best of things when the purpose/essence of it is not understood. Just like you said, many folks go into marriage with everything but without the right reasons/motivations. When that’s the case, wahala go dey. Marriage don’t fail or get better in vacuum. Most marriages fail because the individuals in them have failed to understand the essence of marriage, work on themselves, lay the necessary foundation for it and most importantly, are unable to grasp the concept of (God’s) love.

    As to the issue of submission, it’s pretty simple. The individual (woman) that wrestles with that instruction and the man that tries to milk the instruction have simply not come to an understanding of the Bible, particularly what Paul was teaching in Ephesians 5. Paul’s focus wasn’t on the natural marriage. He was trying to teach a spiritual reality – Christ and his Church; the relationships and responsibilities – using the natural phenomenon of marriage. Hence, a man who hasn’t come to understand that spiritual verity is bound to wrongly apply it to the natural instituon of marriage. Paul was pointing out order as it relates to the spiritual: God is the head of Christ; Christ is the head of the Church and the husband is the head of the wife (and the home).

    When Paul instructs the wife to be in submission to her husband, he wasn’t talking about servitude, subjection or slavery. Actually, he was speaking from the perspective of the relationship between God and Christ: Christ submitted to the love/will of the father in order to redeem man. In like manner, you wives, submit to the love of your husband. The believing husband will love his wife in awareness of what Christ’s love means – sacrifice. Hence, the husband will love his wife sacrificially. He will go the extra mile to ensure she is better in all ramifications. This is the love the wife is to submit to. But here is the dilemma: How will folks who are yet to find God (not born again) understand this and translate that knowledge into their activities in marriage? So it proves your point that it takes a man/woman in Christ to understand the idea of love/marriage in order to have a good marriage.

    As for the reference to Ephesians 5:21:”Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God”, actually the verse wasn’t speaking of mutual submission between the husband and wife (but I really won’t want to get into that because I don’t want to make this post any longer than it already is ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ).

    Meanwhile, those things you highlighted to be considered before marriage are spot on. No more, no less.

    This is a great and nourishing post Blessing. I enjoyed every bit of it. ๐Ÿ‘Œ

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