I asked a woman some time back , what makes you a woman ? She said ” having kids does not make me more or less of a woman but I have lived , loved and learnt “.
We are still on the series ” womanity is humanity ” . what makes us humans is not the ability to reproduce but the ability for us to learn , grow, live, love and make decisions etc. The ability for us to all grow into what we truly desire , learn from our experience, grow and manifest our true self makes us humans .
Do you say my dog is now a dog because it has given birth to puppies , i bet no . you know it is a dog because it barks , it guides , it serves the purpose it was bought for . with this we should also know that there is a difference between a woman and a mother .
A little girl of age 12 cannot be identified as a mother even though she is a woman , why ? Because being a woman does not automatically make you a mother .
A mother is a woman who has kids, either biological, through adoption or any other means . you are a woman before being a mother , you can decide on not being a mother that does not make you less or more of a woman.
Why have sex when you don’t want to get pregnant?
I asked this question some time back because I was ignorant of the topic . I was confused on how a woman wouldn’t want to be a mother , others told me it’s her choice which I found stupid and full of regrets but now I have a better understanding of the subject .
Love making is intercourse between two opposite sex without protection it can lead to pregnancy but with protection its safe . one can have sex without the intent of getting pregnant , sex is love making. Its a spiritual connection between lovers , its a bond , its a magnetic force that attracts people together . so anyone can have sex without the intention of getting pregnant .
This is same with the woman who doesn’t want to have kids . she is free to live, get married , love , work etc without her having kids . in some culture , if you do not bore kids for your husband , the family would give another wife to the man. The woman would face abuse and judgement from the family , this is what we call patriarchy. It is wrong for society to judge a woman who doesn’t want biological babies .
If her husband is OK with it then why judge , along the line she can decide on adopting which is also a means of owning kids. This does not make her less of a woman, she is still a woman. Adoption is not a bad thing so let’s stop making it look like one.
Women you have the right to life and to choice . do not put yourself under pressure because you do not have a child now . there is surrogacy , adoption etc . let’s grow and stop put an end to this odd cultural practices .
You might not be in support of a woman who doesn’t want kids but accept her for she is human and that’s why she made such decisions . don’t judge or or make her feel less . she is a woman and whatever she feels would be beneficial to her let her do it .
There are also men who do not want kids , both parties can find themselves and be happy together until the end of their lives or whenever they want .
I pray we accept people for their decisions, everyone cannot be like mama iyabo who has 10 kids , No ! . we should all be ourselves and choose what we want but remember to follow the ways of God for only there can you find true wisdom .