Still on the series womanity is humanity. In my previous post I talked about different things to consider Before saying yes .
so many people marry the wrong people because they don’t even know what they want in a relationship. I’m going to be making a list of a few things I want in a relationship
It is important to note that one of the strongest foundation of every relationship is understanding . without understanding you are just like two goats being tied together but trying to move in different directions . you need to understand your spouse ,know what he or she likes and treat them in accordance.
I love being appreciated , we love being told your meal is nice , you are the best and all .
We love hearing those words but sometimes men ways of appreciation might not be in saying the words all the time . I would complain of my partner not appreciating what I do for him but he would say he does
. “Not all the time I do have to say babe your food is sweet or I appreciate all you do for me ” he said . ” I say it in other ways ,like the gifts I buy for you , I really do appreciate ” .
So I now know guys have a way of appreciating us , they wouldn’t tell us all the time but they really do . understanding your partner is very important , so you know when he/she is tired , when they need to rest , need space and all .
I have seen some relationships where both parties find it difficult to talk things out . they hold up secrets from their spouse , some are even scared of talking to their partner which ought not to be .
people need to talk things out and not shout . some people feel shouting solves situations and when you shout at certain women it builds fear in them .
They run in their safe place so they won’t be shouted at and accept whatever the man says without objecting . it is wrong .
Both parties are wrong and right , as a man you shouldn’t feel all you do is right and your wife is wrong. Or rather still say ” I am the man of this house ,whatever I say stands ” that’s very bad .
You need your partner to make good decisions with you . any home that both parties are not involved in decision making ,you will notice problem would arise and the family would be unstable.
Don’t feel as a man you can shout or demand respect by shouting . well don’t meet a woman like me cause I have a loud voice . if I’m able to calm down not shout at you and want to talk, I expect you do same but when you decide on showing the bad side of you also know the woman has her bad side and not all the time she would be able to keep shut .
Sometimes I’m being expected to keep quiet cause I’m a woman and he is a man even when he’s at fault .
Society expects us women to always be silent . there are times I’m quiet but others times I’m not ,I shout back and I’m being tagged angry and disrespectful .
At least he knows I am angry and disrespectful so why bring the beast out of me .
Women I’m not saying you should shout at your partner , men I’m also not saying you should shout at her . what I’m saying is both of you need to throw away pride and talk like adults , talk things out and come to an understanding . stop hiding stuffs from your partner ,nothing stays hidden forever . so start communicating
This is one of humans biggest problems ,both men and women cheat . since my topic is on womanity, I would be talking about the ladies and their partners .
Now if I’m to ask why do men cheat ? Simple answer is because they want to . it makes them feel more of a man and when they sit around with friends they would brag about the number of girls they have slept well , it builds their ego .
I would say 50% of men cheat and the other 50% consist of non cheaters and the apologetic cheaters ,this category is where the relationship coach are. If you were to ask some men what they find attractive in other girls that they don’t in their wives ,they would say
“my wife does not satisfy me “.
sex is very important in every relationship, it builds a bond . when your partner can’t satisfy you sexually its a turn off .
Its best you find ways to make sex pleasurable . women who cheat is mostly because their men don’t satisfy them anymore or they are not in love with them . find someone you are not only in love with but also sexually attracted to .
Most men cause their wives pains by involving in extra marital affairs , some even give birth outside their homes thereby making the woman feel less of herself . she starts asking questions like “why is my husband doing this , or I’m I not beautiful enough ”
my dear ladies , do not kill yourself over anybody , if your man wants to be kept he will be . Any man that wants to cheat will cheat and it has nothing to do with you . don’t let anyone disturb your peace of mind.
If he cheats in relationship , he will cheat in marriage don’t feel he would change , he won’t . whatever they do in relationship is what they would do in marriage so be careful when
ng yes I do . know what you can tolerate and what you can’t .
just give me your loyalty and I’ll give you mine , talk to me ,don’t hide anything and I’ll do same , don’t shout at me and I’ll respect you . relationship is partnership not ownership.
when I tell you I can’t do this , I prove to you I can’t , that’s trust . I have shown you what I can do and can’t so you trust me that I can’t . trust is a vital aspect of every relationship . do not betray your partners trust for its hard to gain back .
what I tell everyone is be friends first . friendship is the first foundation of a relationship .
it is in friendship you build trust. Loyalty , honesty, understanding, communication.
Relationship is not something you rush into , if you rush inside you will run outside or you just have to manage it the way you see it . I do not believe in love at first sight , love grows . love is not a movie , its more than a feeling .
everyone has their own opinion of a relationship but to me I rather be friends first and see if you are what I want before I date you. When we date that doesn’t mean you own me , I’m still watching you to see if you would be the type of person I would say yes I do .
when love dies in a relationship friendship is what brings you guys together and that friendship brings back love.
All relationships are filled with issues , there are no perfect one. It takes constant effort from both parties to make it work , so make yours work and don’t rush into it . Enjoy yours , learn from it , grow it , if it doesn’t work out , learn the lessons and still live your life .
Women don’t date guys because of money or the material things he has . date because you see a future and he’s someone you think can build and grow with you . date him because he’s someone you can talk to at all times and he can listen and not shout but advise .
A man gives a woman what she wants because he knows she deserves it not when you are not worth a nickel then you ask for silver . my dear work on yourself, educate yourself , become independent it brings respect . Do not downgrade yourself because of anyone , you are worth more than you can ever imagine .
Above all love yourself , cause you are all there is and would ever be .