matters of the heart

Love and sex

Hello guys How y’all doing ? So yesterday I made a post about marriage.  Hope that was helpful ,well I look forward getting engaged into that blissful union ,not easy but love would see me through . so today I’m going to be talking about love and sex . This is two related term but we must not confuse them . Most people replace good sex for love,they get so attached because of the sex and finds it difficult to quit when they are being treated less. They stick around because they can’t see themselves with someone else . they still want that partner ,they still want the sex. There is a difference between love and sex . let’s define love according to the dictionary
Love is an intense feeling of affection or care
God has commanded us to love everyone . irrespective of race ,gender ,age ,whatever it may be love everyone . now I love everyone but that doesn’t mean I should have sex with everyone . I saw a post on Facebook ,two girls kissing and they said love has no gender . let’s stop misquoting words ,just because I love my dog doesn’t mean I should have sex with my dog . just because I love my father doesn’t mean I should have sex with him . You can love everyone but do not be intimate with everyone ,that’s not the concept of love . we have given our own definition to love saying love knows no gender or boundaries ,yes it doesn’t but sex does . sex has boundaries ,sex has gender. IMG_20181114_091921_101 Let’s define sex .in the simplest form ,it means when two organs meet . so many people have mistaken sex for love which have cost them losses in their relationship. The sex may be so great ,you guys might be friends but if he’s not willing to take you serious and treat you as you deserved to be then that’s not love . you are just in a romantic relationship. This hurts a lot cause have been in such relationship. I wasn’t quick to detect what was going on, all I wanted was him. I didn’t care how he treated me ,all I craved for was his presence . There were times I would spend my last money just to prepare a meal for him ,I went to his house everyday with my transport fare ,he didn’t bother giving me money to go back home . I didn’t bother about all that I still went there and all the times I did ,we had sex. No day passes he didn’t touch me and I was happy he did. He never tells me he loves me,he doesn’t share his dream with me, he doesn’t kiss me ,he prefers to just have sex then I can go home ,I was bothered a bit but still didn’t care . then a day came ,the last day I went over to his place ,he’s friends were there ,this nigga took me to the kitchen and we were making love ,he’s friends excused us and left the house . I didn’t care as long as it pleases him I’m happy.  When I left to my house he texted me by 1am saying ‘stay away from me’. Lord Jesus I was devastated .I was displaced but I didn’t shed a tear . I asked why, he said he’s girlfriend said someone called her asking her to stay away from him  and I’m the only one that he’s romantically involved with . he didn’t say I’m his side chick or his girlfriend or lover ,he said we are just romantically involved. This is what I call just sex . I walked away peaceful, I was so hurt,I changed . I have a memoir ,I do not know if I should start sharing it online ,its a long one. No editing have been made ,its a good one about my journey. There is a difference between love and sex . now let me show you what love is . After that guy ,I decided not to date anymore ,I was hardened . I used drugs then . All I did was to smoke my weed and be happy with myself . it was were I derived my happinesses from . then I met this other guy, he came as a friend. I truly loved his company . he was my best friend ,I trusted him with anything ,he was kind ,patient ,understanding ,he possessed characters have never found in a man . IMG_20181114_092014_505 He stopped me from using drugs ,he helped me through my journey of self realization . after two months of creating a bond as friends ,he told me to date him . I was reluctant cause I was scared of losing him as a friend . I wanted our friendship forever ,I didn’t know how I would act with him ,if he’s going to run away . then he told me one day ,” if I start being friends with another girl how would you feel”. Something kicked in me ,I was jealous ,I didn’t want to see him with another . I didn’t want to lose him at same time I didn’t love him . he asked me ‘do you trust me ,do you care for me, then what is love ?’ All this I said yes to but I was numb about love . I do not know what it means to be in love anymore . We started dating with me having in mind that he is a friend that I cared so much for . he was the best person I had in my life . he was my brother ,father ,teacher ,lover etc. Then with time love developed . I must say right now its been like a year since I have knew him but my love for him still feels like yesterday . Love is trust,understanding,patience,loyalty, commitment, care, love grows. Do not be in a hurry to have sex, just because you are lonely . take time to know if he is fit for you . I’m not talking material things but qualities . does he match up ,if yes then go ahead and develop the feelings . you might say but I don’t feel that spark . all you have to do is put in mind that he’s your friend who you care for ,act the way lovers do then the feelings would come . this is for those who find it difficult to love . Others who fall in love easily ,please know if he’s the right man so you don’t get hurt . love everyone but don’t have sex with everyone. Some would say ,but I started liking girls since I was young ,I never liked guys . the problem right there is your mindset . you think you don’t like guys and you like girls . I don’t want to go deep into this topic for now . I will talk about it some other time . But remember ,don’t confuse good sex for love . sexually feelings that Leads to love are disastrous . the man may be abusive but just because you are attached you stick around not minding that its unhealthy . sex causes attachment, it what keeps the bond . so before the bond choose rightly. 💖

I am not specific, I am a lot of positive energies distributing parts of me to everyone I come across. A writer who wants to affect lives and change the world. How am I going to do that? Why don't you find out yourself 😏

4 Comments

    • D_analyzt

      thats so true. i learnt about this recently. sex is not a measure but expression of love.there are other ways we can express love apart from sex . sometimes sex makes us do the wrong thins , it affects our decision. crazy feeling lol

  • Nelly

    My dearest friend I want to say a big thank you for putting this up.it seems like you wrote it all for me😄.you just relieved me of heart aches.blessing you one in a trillion because million can’t compare

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