Societal issues

I am a child not a bride

Over the years , getting married at an early age was seen as the best way to combat fornication and poverty etc. Most families especially in the northern part of Nigeria believe that giving out their kids at an early age is the best way to protect them from being promiscuous.

Girls at the age of 11- 18 were married off to men older than them. UNICEF records show that 17% of girls were married off at age 15 and 43% were married off at age 18. This was in 2017 ,now imagine the rate in 2019.

Ranking of girl child marriage by UNICEF
Source : https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/child-marriage/nigeria/

Child marriage is a violation of human right .

Marriage is a union between two people who are ready to be committed to each other for a lifetime. Some can’t and they end up divorcing.

I see no reason why one would give their child out for marriage at an early stage . The concept of marriage is too broad , it comes with a lot of responsibilities. You have to be emotionally, mentally, financially ready as a man and a woman to get married .

I am a child not a bride
This is a 16 year old girl and 18 yearly old. They are already married with kids

Sending kids off as bride can lead to the destruction of that child’s future . The child is not mature enough to grasp all that comes with marriage . she is not ready yet her parents still believes she should get married at the early age.

Why girls get married at an early age ?

The main reason why people send their kids out for marriage at an early age is GENDER INEQUALITY.

Here in Africa people still believe that a man and a woman are not equal . when you tell them about equality they are scared . They see it as women trying to rule over men. Equality is not sameness , it giving opportunities and rights to people regardless of gender .

When they say ” I am not equal to a woman, a woman and a man are not the same ” I ask them ” are you equal to your father , are you and your father the same ” . Each day I’m on Twitter arguing about feminism .

Funny enough the some men are OK with them working for the money so they can feel powerful over a woman and a woman should just stay at home .

They say she is just good for the kitchen and the bed . once a girl child approaches puberty , they send her off to be married . she gives birth, take care of the kids ,take care of the man , take care of the home.

This is her job when she is supposed to be out there in the world hustling for herself and her family . The girl child does not want to be married off. She is human and it is a violation of humans right to send someone out when they are not ready for marriage .

She wants to be ready , she wants to choose a life partner , she wants to be career printed , to be financially independent. She doesn’t want to be a wife or a mother alone .

We should end this mentality and put an end to girl child marriage

A guy once told me he would marry his girl child off early because he prefers early marriage to late marriage.

This is another issues with our society ,telling a woman when to marry . They shame a woman who is not married . marriage is not for everyone , its one thing to be married ,its another to be happily married .

This is a lifetime commitment so why the rush. Marriage doesn’t have a time frame. It is forced so stop forcing people into making lifetime commitment do quickly .

I see nothing wring with a woman getting married at an age 30-45 . let her be ready , if she is not then let her be . Some people would say what about kids . kids are not the reason people get married even though they want to have kids. The main reason for marriage is for companionship.

If you don’t want kids fine , not all women are expected to be mothers. I wrote in one of my post about women ,what makes you a woman .

In that series ,womanity is humanity I said a woman is complete without a man and without a child . if she doesn’t want both then fine it doesn’t make her less of a woman ,if she wants both then fine it doesn’t make her more of a woman.

I am a woman ,I am human not a bride

Its not about bearing the name married women its about enjoying the name . most women are enduring and suffering all in the name of marriage.

Society should stop pressuring women about marriage,she would marry when she wants . The girl child has a future ,she has a dream ,she has a vision. Don’t sweep it under the bed,don’t throw it away . invest in it ,take her to school .

Oprah Winfrey and chimamanda adichie
Chimamanda and Oprah Winfrey

The queen of England is a woman , Fumilayo Kuti is a woman. Michelle Obama is a woman , Chimamanda Adichie is a woman , Oprah Winfrey is a woman.

This are women doing exploit so why stop women from getting educated. Why cut their life short by sending them off as brides when they can’t even bag a certificate .

This so a violation of human right. The girl child is human and she deserves equal opportunities and right.

She what’s to be a lawyer , a doctor , a pilot , a president , a governor . she what’s to rule not clean and cook . she is more ,she deserves to be seen as more .

She is not your bride , she is a woman and a woman can be anything she wants to be .

Thanks for reading , stay tuned for my weekly series on the girl child marriage. Another episode comes back on Wednesday . don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter to keep you informed.

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