matters of the heart

3 lessons I learned from love

Love has always been a roller coaster for me, I lost the idea of the concept and that really did affect me. So here are 3 lessons I learned from love πŸ€”

” this is love ” he said
” What is love ” I asked
” love is friendship , it is trust , understanding, care , you just don’t want to admit within yourself that you love me . if you don’t love me then why are you here with me

I stood dumbfounded, am I new to love or have I been loving wrongly all this while . Have not really been in love with someone I call my friend . What I call love is that sweet feeling that sends goosebumps down my dark skin.

What have always known to be love now seems to be lost , does love truly exist. “I don’t know if I can love you, can we just be friends . I really do love being a friend and I don’t want anything to come in between this friendship” uncertainty grew more and more in me.

then what is love , this is love . You obviously care about me, you love me you just don’t know it ” Oh now am lost , I had just left a relationship where I was abusive . How can I love someone else again.

Do not enter into something you know nothing of

Most times we tend to demand love from people who don’t even know what love is , how can they love you when they don’t even know what the concept mean to them.

People should actually get to a point where they know what love means to them and how they can show it. We shouldn’t ask a lost person to be in a relationship with us .

They would love us the way we want but once they find out that this isn’t what they want and decides on leaving , we would be left hanging .

Now you’ve become the one hurt and you no longer believe in love . You might meet someone else , there’s a high possibility you might hurt that person , the circle continues .

This is why we have lot of broken people on the street who don’t know what love truly means and they go round distributing their scars .

Help people but don’t date them , if you truly care about that person then help them grow to a point where they know what love means and what happiness means .

Don’t be a source of their joy , let them be the reason for their happiness before they can actually know how to love you . what makes a relationship is what you put in , and you can’t give what you don’t have .

This word came from a friend Ibukun , thanks for your thoughtful words https://ayansola.wordpress.com

Related post : are you truly in love . you should really read this and ask yourself , am I in love?

Don’t make decisions that’s not birthed from value

I can remember vividly, three days into our new found friendship , he said ” why do you do that which you do , I went through your page and I see a lot but you choose to live this way and start behaving like a boy “.

I was touched , yes I have heard those words before , I have heard so many people tell me how much of a boy I had become . I saw nothing wrong in it ,its my life and I would live it how I want.

Oh how ignorance swept my floor clean leaving no trace of wisdom. But then I said to myself that day “blessing you’ve been going through the wrong path, think about your unborn kids and call yourself to order ” .

Have been an addict for years how do I stop now . it was difficult but I knew I had to make a commitment . ” would you help me out ” I asked him. He was there all along , he helped me through the process and its been more than a year close to two since have been drugs free .

Sometimes I reminiscence back to my past and I asked myself ” why , just why did you do it

If there’s no reason why you do certain things then don’t do it. We are emotional and sentimental people and let this feelings actually control our decisions. Mine was controlled by Inquisition, I wanted to know how it felt like since I saw them doing it.

Certain decisions shouldn’t be birthed from emotions but from value . drugs never added value to my life , it rather took from me .

Apart from drugs we do not evaluate the people we want to date . we just go by what we feel , if we are lonely we feel that companionship is love , that’s what we go for .

We don’t ask the necessary questions we need to ask before actually dating , we just jump into the pool and that’s how we bounce back when conflict arise .

We shouldn’t date people just because we are attracted to them alone, its not about fine boy or fine girl . figure 10 or pink lips , do they have sense?

Do your values align, ask them certain things that mean a lot to you and listen to their response. This thing called feelings is a deceiver.

Some will say love oversees all , yes it does . that is why I will leave because I love myself and cannot come and die just because i love you. Before marriage please shine shine your eyes , don’t be blind make the right decision .

There’s a ground you will build your relationship and it will just collapse , the best ground to build is the solid ground of Christ.

Keep your relationship off social media

There’s this popular quote that goes ” game wey wan cut go still cut ”

They were actually referring to relationships, a relationship that wants to end would end whether you put it on social media or not .

I used to do kinging and queening , man crush Monday , shoprite things , lovey- dovey pictures, love is sweet when its sweet . πŸ˜ƒ

Sometimes I just want to delete my Facebook account just because we have broken up . I have deleted so many ex pictures off my page.

Don’t stress yourself , just don’t carry all those pictures and show it to the world. When you guys break up you will carry another one and post , when you break up you delete. How long will you continue like that.

Oh relationship has been Humpty Dumpty for me . Am still going to share how I got here though . But am wiser than before , and I won’t let myself go through all those stress again .

I Would be wiser when it comes to my next relationship but first how did I arrive at self love. These are just 3 lessons I learned from love , I would be sharing more on how i arrived at self love . I decided on sharing a photo of me @ featured image , I so don’t look what have been through , praise the lord .

it started from the day I decided to …….

To be continued

Thanks for reading my 3 lessons I learned from love . what lessons have you learned? please share with me

Don’t forget to subscribe

Like , share , comment πŸ€—

In a controversial world filled with different perspective , influences &culture . D_analyzt shares her truth on life and how she has journeyed through it .

2 Comments

  • Ibukun

    You shared vital relationship lessons Blessing. There is a lot to glean from in this (single) post. Relationships are meant for folks who understand its essence, who are mature in all ramifications, who have a grasp of love (from the God-point-of-view) and who are not looking for someone to make them feel complete. People tend to value us the way we value ourselves. Hence, the need to have the right value system and set standards before we proceed. Keep being a positive inspiration!

    By the way, hope you know we are namesakes. Ibukun is the Yoruba version of Blessing.

    • D_analyzt

      So true , I got to learn all of that after so many heart breaks . am glad I still got to learn though now I know am mature enough and I would be so careful when going into another .
      Its not pride but I sure do have standards not falling for just anyone.

      Nice to see that your name means blessing , am Yoruba so is my name ibukun as well πŸ˜‚

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *