Love has always been a roller coaster for me, I lost the idea of the concept and that really did affect me. So here are 3 lessons I learned from love 🤔
” this is love ” he said ” What is love ” I asked ” love is friendship , it is trust , understanding, care , you just don’t want to admit within yourself that you love me . if you don’t love me then why are you here with me ”
I stood dumbfounded, am I new to love or have I been loving wrongly all this while . Have not really been in love with someone I call my friend . What I call love is that sweet feeling that sends goosebumps down my dark skin.
What have always known to be love now seems to be lost , does love truly exist. “I don’t know if I can love you, can we just be friends . I really do love being a friend and I don’t want anything to come in between this friendship” uncertainty grew more and more in me.
” then what is love , this is love . You obviously care about me, you love me you just don’t know it ” Oh now am lost , I had just left a relationship where I was abusive . How can I love someone else again.
Do not enter into something you know nothing of
Most times we tend to demand love from people who don’t even know what love is , how can they love you when they don’t even know what the concept mean to them.
People should actually get to a point where they know what love means to them and how they can show it. We shouldn’t ask a lost person to be in a relationship with us .
They would love us the way we want but once they find out that this isn’t what they want and decides on leaving , we would be left hanging .
Now you’ve become the one hurt and you no longer believe in love . You might meet someone else , there’s a high possibility you might hurt that person , the circle continues .
This is why we have lot of broken people on the street who don’t know what love truly means and they go round distributing their scars .
Help people but don’t date them , if you truly care about that person then help them grow to a point where they know what love means and what happiness means .
Don’t be a source of their joy , let them be the reason for their happiness before they can actually know how to love you . what makes a relationship is what you put in , and you can’t give what you don’t have .
Don’t make decisions that’s not birthed from value
I can remember vividly, three days into our new found friendship , he said ” why do you do that which you do , I went through your page and I see a lot but you choose to live this way and start behaving like a boy “.
I was touched , yes I have heard those words before , I have heard so many people tell me how much of a boy I had become . I saw nothing wrong in it ,its my life and I would live it how I want.
Oh how ignorance swept my floor clean leaving no trace of wisdom. But then I said to myself that day “blessing you’ve been going through the wrong path, think about your unborn kids and call yourself to order ” .
Have been an addict for years how do I stop now . it was difficult but I knew I had to make a commitment . ” would you help me out ” I asked him. He was there all along , he helped me through the process and its been more than a year close to two since have been drugs free .
Sometimes I reminiscence back to my past and I asked myself ” why , just why did you do it ”
If there’s no reason why you do certain things then don’t do it. We are emotional and sentimental people and let this feelings actually control our decisions. Mine was controlled by Inquisition, I wanted to know how it felt like since I saw them doing it.
Certain decisions shouldn’t be birthed from emotions but from value . drugs never added value to my life , it rather took from me .
Apart from drugs we do not evaluate the people we want to date . we just go by what we feel , if we are lonely we feel that companionship is love , that’s what we go for .
We don’t ask the necessary questions we need to ask before actually dating , we just jump into the pool and that’s how we bounce back when conflict arise .
We shouldn’t date people just because we are attracted to them alone, its not about fine boy or fine girl . figure 10 or pink lips , do they have sense?
Do your values align, ask them certain things that mean a lot to you and listen to their response. This thing called feelings is a deceiver.
Some will say love oversees all , yes it does . that is why I will leave because I love myself and cannot come and die just because i love you. Before marriage please shine shine your eyes , don’t be blind make the right decision .
There’s a ground you will build your relationship and it will just collapse , the best ground to build is the solid ground of Christ.
Keep your relationship off social media
There’s this popular quote that goes ” game wey wan cut go still cut ”
They were actually referring to relationships, a relationship that wants to end would end whether you put it on social media or not .
I used to do kinging and queening , man crush Monday , shoprite things , lovey- dovey pictures, love is sweet when its sweet . 😃
Sometimes I just want to delete my Facebook account just because we have broken up . I have deleted so many ex pictures off my page.
Don’t stress yourself , just don’t carry all those pictures and show it to the world. When you guys break up you will carry another one and post , when you break up you delete. How long will you continue like that.
Oh relationship has been Humpty Dumpty for me . Am still going to share how I got here though . But am wiser than before , and I won’t let myself go through all those stress again .
I Would be wiser when it comes to my next relationship but first how did I arrive at self love. These are just 3 lessons I learned from love , I would be sharing more on how i arrived at self love . I decided on sharing a photo of me @ featured image , I so don’t look what have been through , praise the lord .
it started from the day I decided to …….
To be continued
Thanks for reading my 3 lessons I learned from love . what lessons have you learned? please share with me